Calm is underrated
In my work as an executive coach, I get a peak into a variety of peoples’ states of mind on the job.
A noticeable factor in a session is the client’s position on the calm—>frazzled spectrum. Individuals move across this spectrum at different points in time, and different people tend to occupy different ranges.
What I’ve noticed is that when my clients are calm, they’re able to solve their problems almost effortlessly. It makes our coaching sessions feel more productive as well; we’re able to quickly get a clear and comprehensive picture of whatever situation is at hand. The difference really is very striking.
Obviously there’s a tradeoff here; it takes time and energy to work through the sources of our stress and learn how to be calm. It wouldn’t make sense to invest 100% of our lives into optimizing our state of mind. But my perception is that of the people I interact with, most of us would actually achieve more of our goals if we spent more energy creating calm.
Even for people who are very bought in to the value of calm, it can take a lot of time and effort to get calmer. It seems that our society conditions us on a very deep level to believe that we should always work harder and longer at any cost. It’s extremely common to feel shame for needing a break or not being efficient enough.
Calm fixes problems
When you’re frazzled, everything seems like a problem. When you’re calm, all the problems seem to fix themselves.
One might question which direction the causality goes here. Maybe we’re all just calm when we have no ongoing problems? But I’ve observed many times that generating calm can resolve issues. For example, I’ve observed a client come back from a meditation retreat, and somehow everything in his startup began running more smoothly than before.
Sometimes, problems become easy to resolve from a calmer, clearer state. Sometimes, it’s revealed that the perceived problem wasn’t a problem at all! That’s the “no problem” way—my favorite problem-solving technique.
Plus, calm is happier!
If you’re going to be working either way—you might as well enjoy yourself, right?
Keeping my own calm
If I’m going to effectively help anyone as a coach, It’s very important to be calm myself. This is something I’m pretty heavily invested in, in a long-term way. Currently one of my favorite tools for this is meditation. I do silent retreats often. And I make sure to set aside a few minutes to calm myself before a client session.
How can I generate calm?
Daily exercise and meditation are my top recommendations. You can also do short, simple practices during the workday like taking a few deep breaths, or scanning your body to relax muscle tension.
For more help, try working with me! Schedule a free consultation on my Calendly.
